Thursday, 28 April 2016

Major Project: Timeline, Scene directions and leaving a scene early.

I think the good thing with Sunday League was not having specific events that meant my Time line wasn't restricted. None of the matches were set for a christmas theme, for example which meant i could move the story along at the pace i wanted. This is similar to inbetweeners where the only specific time frame is during school time. My time frame is only during football season. other than that i have flexibility. This was useful when it came to don's wife's story as it meant i could speed up her illness without it causing timeline or unrealistic issues. 

I also wanted to make my stage directions as punchy as possible.
"The description; the action; the action line; the stage directions – these are all terms used 
to describe the narrative portion of a screenplay, the material that, along with the dialogue, 

makes up the physical writing in screenwriting. For clarity and consistency, I’m going to 

refer to the narrative portion of a screenplay as the stage directions in this article.

Crafting quality descriptive prescriptives or stage directions is one of the hardest aspects of screenwriting for film scribes to master. It’s hard because all stage directions are meant to be is description: a simple explanation of what – characters, action, and imagery – is meant to appear on screen during a particular scene. All of the elements that are usually considered hallmarks of “good” writing – clever wordplay; literary style; elaborate descriptions of setting and characters; intricate explorations of the characters’ internal thoughts and feelings; and so on – have no place in this type of writing and their inclusion can (and usually does) actually impede the screenwriting’s effectiveness. Therefore, the stage directions in a screenplay are most effective when the wording is as simple, tight, and stripped down as possible. At the same time, it can’t be boring and must engage the reader. So it’s quite a challenge.To meet it, you must write clearly, and directly. Tell us what is meant to be seen on screen without enhancement or embellishment. Use short sentences – with one idea (one action, one piece of description, etc.) per sentence to maximize clarity. Employ short, punchy paragraphs in order to make the script easy to read. Avoid long sentences and paragraphs – reading description can be tedious under the best of circumstances and will absolutely become so if you force your reader to hack her/his way through giant blocks of type. You want your readers to put their energy into understanding and enjoying your tale, not into the physical process of reading it. And also, the experience of reading the script should indicate the experience you want the audience to have when watching the eventual movie it proposes. If you employ short sentences and brief one, two, or three line paragraphs, your reader will be able to experience the story with the same energy and kinetic pacing that you presumably want the movie to have."

This was a great help to me. I really tried to focus on clever word play but at times found it difficult to find a word to describe what i was trying to get across. 

BBC writers room was also a great source of information

"OK - this week I thought I'd hand over the blog to David Roden. He works with me as part of the Academy team, and his job is mostly to read scripts that are sent to us. I asked him what he thought... he did this:
"I read scripts.
I read a lot of scripts.
I can't tell you how many scripts I've read this year because I've lost count.
I get asked on a reasonably regular basis "what makes a script stand out?" 
I read so many of them, and have read so many over the years, I can tell very quickly what I've got in store for me as I pass from page two to page three and onwards. 
Most days I'm never wrong, but some days ... and, god I love those days ... some days I couldn't be more wrong about what a script holds in store for me. Some brilliant soul out there has told me a story that completely knocks me for six.
That's why I am passionate about the job I do. There are a lot of brilliant writers out there ... and also some good writers... some competent but dull writers... writers who are technically not brilliant but have something really exciting to say... and some very deluded people who think they can write... and I read scripts from all of them on a daily basis. Not all writers are the same.
But every single time, I will pick the "technically not very accomplished but got a spark of something really special" script over the "technically hugely accomplished but got no life or heart at all" script. I promise you. Structure can be taught. Heart, passion, and soul can't.
A trial script for a TV soap... I will scream if I get sent another bloody one of these. I want original scripts - something a writer is passionate about. Not some half-arsed attempt at a soap you barely watch.
Cop Shows full of clichés - such as: a rogue detective with psychic powers; good cop / bad cop routine with dialogue ripped off from Quentin Tarantino's back catalogue of films; cop with a self-destructive vice because they've lost their partner in a failed bank robbery; high flier with a dark secret goes back to seaside fishing village where they were born; blah, blah, blah.
Short Film Scripts - a completely different medium and style and format. Don't ... just, don't.
Angels and Demons - science-fiction scripts that feature an age old battle between heaven and hell in a post-apocalyptic city that are pitched at a Saturday tea time slot - and, one of the main characters has died and is trapped in this limbo, and to find a way out they have to solve the mystery of how and why they died. You might think I'm joking, but I get at least two versions of this story a week. Every week. Please don't be derivative of your favourite shows - be unique and bold and brilliant. Make me sit up and say, I wish I'd thought of that. 
Starting with a voice over or a monologue - just because the brilliant 'American Beauty' did it, doesn't mean every script should start that way. More often than not, it's a lazy way of imparting information.
Directing in the Stage Directions - 'whip pan to', or 'crash zoom', or 'crane up to ...' Stop it! Stop it now! You are telling me a story, not telling me how you would direct it. Your stage directions should be brilliant prose. They should read like a novel - an un-put-down-able novel. They should be sparse, exciting, precise, punchy, create an atmosphere, make me laugh, draw me in ... but NEVER tell me how it should be directed, because I'll assume that you'd rather be a director instead. Read a Russell T Davies script - he is the master of genius stage directions.
Irrelevant Stage Directions ...please don't give me too many stage directions that tell me information about characters' family trees or feelings... a note I often give is 'can we try to find a way of dramatizing the stage directions'... if you can't dramatize it, cut it out, it isn't necessary. And, don't break up a wonderful, passionate piece of dialogue to say something bland like: 'She sits down slowly' or 'She nervously fiddles with the toggle on her parka' ... "

Get in late, leave early...
William Goldman said, “You always attack a movie scene as late as you possibly can. You always come into the scene at the last possible moment.” The same rule applies at the end of a scene. Get the hell out – quick!
A scene in a screenplay should begin as late as possible. What does this mean? Let's take an example. 
A husband and wife have been separated. The husband is the protagonist in the story. He and his wife are meeting for lunch to talk about their future. The wife is going to tell him she wants a divorce. 
Most beginners would spend a lot of time getting the husband to this lunch meeting. He might take some time deciding what he is going to wear. He might dawdle on the way, so as not to be early and appear to be anxious. He might fortify himself with a drink or two. Finally he'll be met at the restaurant by a hostess and led to the booth where his wife waits. They'll be small talk. A waiter will take an order for drinks. More small talk. A waiter will take their lunch orders. More small talk. Eventually they'll get around to talking about their marriage, at which time the wife will say she wants a divorce. 
Although there are dramatic contexts in which this slow development can work (see below), in most cases this scene will be too slow. It has too much fat. What is the point of the scene? The news of divorce. A more skilled screenwriter, therefore, would open the scene just before this moment. The couple is already seated at lunch. They are eating silently. Suddenly the wife pops the news. 
But there is a context in which the slow version is stronger than the more efficient version. Let's say that while getting ready, the husband fetches a handgun, loads it, and hides it on his person. Now where there was slow development and fat before, there is tension because we are on the edge of our seats, wondering what he is going to do with the gun. And the longer we have to wait, the more tense the story becomes. 
In other words, for slowly developing scenes to work, there must be an element to justify their pacing. In general, the crisper the scene, the better. 
When Should a Scene End? 
What about getting out of this scene? 
In the first version, without the gun, beginners would have the wife pop the news and have this lead into an argument, probably the kind of argument we've heard many times before. This argument may take several pages, even though we learn nothing new from it. 
A more skilled screenwriter might have the wife's news be the last line in the scene. A quick look at the husband's reaction and cut: maybe to the husband having a drink in a bar, or talking with a friend, or sleeping with his mistress. 
Once again, the gun changes everything because it adds a dynamic new element to the dramatic mix. The wife gives the news. A beginning writer might have the husband take out the gun and shoot her. Chaos results. The husband is wrestled to the ground by customers. He barely gets away. 
A more skilled screenwriter would surprise us. The husband takes out the gun and points it at his temple. Would he really? The wife looks like she's about to have a heart attack. He pulls the trigger. Nothing. "I was going to shoot you but I chickened out," he says. "I took out the bullets. Have a nice life." He leaves.

Major Project: structure


I looked into detail into the structure of a half an hour sitcom. 

The black list define this as:
The half-hour format is usually reserved for more comedic series, including the sitcom. These series follow a three act structure, often including a teaser (also called a “cold open”) and a tag at the end.

My series has a teaser and a tag at the end which came natural to my writing but also something a lot of my favourite shows do. So i was heavily influenced by this. 

I also stumbled across a guide produced by a first time screen writer that they had found useful. It became one of my main referrals.

https://wisesloth.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/sitcom-analysis.pdf



1-3 min Intro 
Establish what the protagonist wants.


3-8 min Cataclysm
An obstacle appears between the protagonist and his goal.
The protagonist reacts to the antagonist/obstacle in his own signature fashion.

Cut to a new scene that establishes what the minor character wants and how he plans to get it.
Cut to a new scene where the protagonist comes up with a plan to neutralize his primary obstacle.


8-13 min
Complications and Escalation
The protagonist enacts his plan, but he’s blocked by a minor obstacle.
The protagonist comes up with a plan to neutralize the minor obstacle in his way.
Cut to a new scene that shows the minor character enacting his plan and running into his own resistance.
Cut to a new scene where the protagonist enacts his plan and succeeds or fails at overcoming the minor obstacle.

13- 18 min
The Showdown
page14image19584
If the protagonist failed to overcome his sub-obstacle then he comes up with a new plan to neutralize his main obstacle given this new limitation. If he succeed at neutralizing his minor obstacle then he confronts the main obstacle directly with the new strength/resource he gained from his success.
Cut to a new scene where the minor character confronts their primary obstacle and either succeeds or fails at neutralizing it.
Cut to a new scene where the protagonist pulls out his last resort and throws a hail-Mary to beat the antagonist.
The protagonist either wins or loses.

18-21 min The Sunset
page14image28152
Show where this chain of events leaves the protagonist and the minor character.







It really had some great points especially about having a show with lots of characters.

"If you’re writing a sitcom with four or five recurring protagonists like “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphiaand you want to give screen time to all the characters then you’ll have a hard time fitting in four quests even without trying to squeeze in a minor character’s subquest. In that case you can split your four protagonists into two protagonists with two heads. In “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Mac and Dennis will often team up with each other to solve a common goal/obstacle while Charlie and Frank collaborate on a separate goal/obstacle leaving Dee to play a minor character with her own subplot. In another episode Frank, Dee and Mac might solve a common problem (though they each have their own reasons for doing so) while Charlie and Dee team up to collaborate on a separate problem. You can cut the cake anyway you want."

It was a perfect guide and something i will utilise in the future heavily. 

Major Project: research into dementia

I knew i needed to have a strong amount of research behind the dementia storyline and although i have past experience of the alzheimer's from working in the NHS and with patients with this condition.

One big part of my research was in the progression of the disease.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=133

This article talks about how "A wide range of factors influence how quickly someone's dementia will progress. These include age - people who develop symptoms before 65 often have a faster progression. " 
As Don's wife is 48 i wanted her dementia to have already been diagnosed but Don in a high level of denial about the rapidly escalating condition. I felt that perhaps Don would have asked for help from very close friends but perhaps felt a great deal of responsibility to keep his wife's condition hidden of how bad things were getting from his family. It was however difficult to tackle such a difficult subject in a half an hour series. 

These are some of the mild - moderate symptoms:
  • becoming confused about where they are, or walking off and becoming lost
  • muddling up time and getting up at night because they are mixing up night and day
  • behaving in ways that may seem unusual, such as going outside in their nightclothes, becoming very agitated or unknowingly behaving in socially inappropriate ways
  • experiencing difficulty with perception and, in some cases, having delusions (strongly believing things that are not true) or, less often, hallucinations (usually, seeing things that are not really there)
This is the stage i feel Don's wife would be at. 


This video was a really interesting family dynamic, It was really interesting to hear Trevor's own views on dementia and that really helped shape the scene with Julia where she comes to the realisation she would be better placed in the care home. Although this was a tough scene it, also was one of the most interesting to work on as it involved a lot of my research into the topic. 


Major Project: Strengthening B and C plots

At times during the production i felt my sub plots weren't as complex and detailed as my main plot. Usually the main plot would involve the lead character for that episode. In ILF that lead character was Tom and his scenes with Ollie were my most well planned. But my scenes with Nath and Jake and Dean and Lucy were not as punchy.
I decided to find out a bit more about B plots to see what i could do to mine to make it work more effectively:

"The B story is less clear, though. This is the story of the central emotional relationship as seen through the eyes of the protagonist. In other words, the love interest in a romance or romantic comedy, the friend in the buddy pic, the kid in a father/daughter picture. This is the emotional heart of the picture, and even a rough and tumble picture like “Die Hard” has one. As a matter of fact, that’s what makes the picture so memorable – it has a heart. In every movie, there is a relationship to be established or repaired. That’s the B story. Making sure your B story is solid will add depth and emotion to your script, making it easier for the audience to relate to." 

In this case this was the Dean and Lucy storyline. Adding a little more drama with the what is dean up to - is he really that bad a date, scene will really help with this depth.

Therefore that should make Nath/Jake the c plot. 

"Okay, confused yet? Because there’s a C story in most every film, too. That’s the story of the character’s change, what most people call the “character arc.” Obviously this story goes hand in hand with the others, but it’s a good idea to have a clear grasp of a) what the character’s flaw is; b) when he realizes that flaw; and c) how he overcomes that flaw in the final challenge (climax)."

Instead of having a character flaw  with Nath i would like to see it as more as an obstacle or character trait he has to get used to. Something he is so ashamed of he can't admit to himself let alone anyone else. The c plot is Nath's discovery of himself. 

https://www.writersstore.com/making-your-a-b-and-c-stories-work-in-your-rewrite-paul-chitlik/

The points from this article were really helpful in helping me to outline and think a little bit more clearly about the types of storyline i was including. even though i have a lot of relationships in the show, i think i balance out the friendships fairly well and split the development of these storylines well.

major project: Research into series arc's

When i was looking at my work from pre production work into the series arc's it became clear that some characters, weren't really highlighted in the episodes. For example, in episode 6, Ollie doesn't have a storyline at all and he doesn't have a series arc. I decided to go into research mode to find out a bit more about series arc's in general and how they work.

Here are some videos i found useful:
I thought of the idea of having Ollie, grow as a player from episode 1 to episode 6. have him sit out the game due to his clear ineptness and then have him come back and provide an assist for the winner was a big deal. It gave his character a sense of closure from the start of the series where he ends up missing a penalty to this moment was a great idea.


The idea that a long arc is the best was really interesting, i also liked the idea that along the way the character changes but could also relapse was something really interesting. It is actually what i had in mind for Dean's character, It was always too easy to make everything go along swimmingly for him in his first proper relationship. He is still a baby in that respect and finding his feet in the dating pool, so having him revert back to his 'safe' place and sleep with Hannah felt like the perfect choice for his character.

Major Project: Overcoming writers block

Mid way through episode 6 i really struggled to get what i wanted from a storyline and genuinely had no idea how to move it forward. I had hit a wall and was worried i wouldn't be able to move on.
One of the writers i have been focusing my research on had a great quote that helped me to know everyone experiences it at some point.
"Writer’s block – embrace it, know it. It is your internal editor. It is telling you that you haven’t got it right yet, that you can write what you want to write, or the scene that you’re going to write, or the chapter you’re going to write – one reason, it’s not *right* yet. So listen to that voice and sit in agony until it all blossoms in your head. It’s not a fault, it’s just that you haven’t got it yet." 
Stephen Moffatt.

This helped me to know that all writers block truly is, is not being satisfied with the outcome yet. Not hitting the right notes. 

What i found whose was that i began to work on a separate project with some friends and it was so easy and joyful to write with them on this other project that i feel i had fallen out of love with the one i was creating. It was so difficult to sit down and find the words i wanted.  But i found an article that actually recommended writing while others are in the room. This is something that i had previously done but as i now was living by myself most of the time, it was difficult to find someone who could be around me and enjoy listening to my random sparks of ideas. 

http://www.theguardian.com/higher-education-network/2014/dec/22/overcoming-writers-block-three-top-tips

Do social writing – write with others.

As with other academic activities, interacting with others about ideas and plans is valuable. 
Social writing involves writing with others – not collaborative writing, but writing with others in the room. Writing with others, talking about writing-in-progress and sharing writing goals and achievements helps us to understand writing better. Social writing generates realistic goal-setting and dedicated writing time.
It also makes writing part of work and life. It is no longer something we only do in solitude. Discussing writing is interesting. Social writing reduces the main cause of writer’s block – anxiety – and stimulates writing. With social writing, there may be no need for help or instruction after all.
Writing has become for me, a solitary activity more than anything this unit, and although i enjoy writing, i also very much enjoy being part of a team and working with others. I tried my best to make sure i was getting out of the house and writing in places that i may also feel inspired. I went to cafe's and pubs a lot and often i would hear a conversation that would trigger things that could spark potential ideas which would help me with certain aspects of scenes. 
Another article i read had a very different approach but something that seemed to work for me. 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-and-sensibility/201006/ten-top-tips-end-writer-s-block-procrastination

To boost your motivation, set up a reward and penalty system
This was something i had previously done with essay's i had found a chore, but i had never done it with scripts and storytelling. I rewarded myself with things i enjoy such as days out, booking my theory test and spending time with friends and gave myself penalties such as not being able to watch the new episodes of a tv show i wanted to see. This was effective because i knew i would hear other people talking about the show and this would mean i would find out things without watching it, spoiling it for me. It gave me no choice but to work on the project.
A video i watched also really helped and i wanted to post it here for myself to remember for the future. 


Major Project: Voicing the characters

During the project i had a problem with some of the dialogue. It didn't feel like it was working, and i was worried that i wouldn't be able to figure out why because the only way i had solved some of the dialogue with the pilot was hearing it during the table read. This got me thinking about maybe there was a way i could rework the script using friends i have that are actors as i knew the actors playing the roles wont be available.
I got together with a few of these friends and hosted a test table read to have them speak honestly about the dialogue and any problems they felt. I had someone time each scene in comparison to others and noticed some scenes were a little long while others were a little short and tried to expand. It was a really valuable experience and helped me to hear the problems rather than just see them as words on a paper.
I also did some research on testing characters voices.

http://nofilmschool.com/2012/05/tests-characters-voice-working-from-john

It has 5 questions, that i used to analyse each scene to try and make sure everyone who was required in each scene was there.


  • Could you take the dialogue from one character in the script and have another character say it? 
  • Is the character speaking for himself or is he speaking for the writer?
  • Is the character expressing her own feeling in the moment, or is she expressing what needs to happen next [in the story]?
  • What would a joke sound like from that character?
  • Can you picture a given actor in the role, or at least preclude certain actors from the role because it doesn’t feel like they would say those things?
I feel that these 5 steps really helped me to develop some scenes, for example i had a scene where don's relatives were at Don's house trying to search for Don's wife. It felt as though there were far too many people in the scene especially for a show with already a high number of principal characters. In the end i found that some lines weren't needed and some lines could be said by Don's wife's friend and carer. I am a lot more satisfied with the scene now than it was before.