Major Project: Trimming the fat - Stage 1 of the rewrite

After a conversation with Aimee i came to realise i had given her the difficult task of casting 30 characters. After taking a look at the script through this lens i decided to see - if when i cut characters out would the story still make sense? If not Could main character have access to this information also and therefore be able to move the story along also?
With this is mind i went through the script with a tooth comb and highlighted anything i felt was vital - BLUE. I then used a different colour to highlight anything that was unneeded - PINK. I used another colour to show the bits i needed but could have another character say - YELLOW
 For example this is the first scene of the script:

Using this information, i began rewriting. This is the same scene but with the pink sections cut out, the yellow section is now said by Tom. 

I think by doing so it not only focus more on the characters that are important but realistically makes Aimees job a lot easier. Although the character, who's dialogue i deleted, is still in the show he is now more of a featured extra. I have done the same with another scene which i removed completely from the script and with that removed 5 characters from her casting list. 

http://www.movieoutline.com/screenwriting-blog/index.php/2011/08/dont-have-too-many-characters/

"Ask yourself, who is this person?  Why are they in this scene?  What do they contribute to the scene, protagonist/antagonist, plot and movie?  Are they merely a sounding board for you or your central characters? "

This quote is very similar to the thought process i took when scanning through the script. 

For example the character of the bar man - i loved my description of him - it was one of my favourite descriptions i'd written for character and because of that it held a little place in my heart. However when i asked myself these questions i realised he was mainly a vessel in which i was using to give the characters some information that they could know from elsewhere - he was to be axed. it was painful. but it was ultimately the right call. It also breathed new life into the script and left me with the interesting task of focusing in on each of the characters, and discovering what they might be doing if they weren't at the pub or playing football. Something that i will discuss in a separate post. 

Major Project: Research into Writers - Toby Whitehouse

There are a few writers who's story telling has captivated me since i was a child and while for some people that might involve big name TV or Film productions for me a lot of my favourite shows are often those that aren't that well known.

The first writer i decided to research is the creator and writer of one of my favourite tv shows - No Angels -Toby Whitehouse.
He has since gone on to create one of BBC Three's biggest shows Being Human which has since been remade into a US version with his involvement.

I found an interview on BBC Writers Room with him where he talks about how he creates characters and what comes first the beginning middle and end.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/writers-lab/be-inspired/toby-whithouse

He says that as he trained as an actor first he is able to see lines of dialogue and know when the writer has never actually said this line out loud. For him he likes to say the line over and over and it will inevitably get shorter and concise until it does exactly what it needs to without being wordy.

 Something i found interesting was when he mentioned how he didn't like the idea of research and thought 'why let the facts get in the way of a good story' but when he was doing No Angels they did months of research and it turned up lots of stories of its own and thats the same with character bios which noone ever see's but he knows. This is something i do. I feel i know a lot about these characters, a lot more than perhaps the rest of my group, because i have spent months creating backstories and where they come from, why, their lives. I've immersed myself in the world and out of that has come new stories ideas.

Overall he had a lot of useful points that i can relate to as a writer and some that i will consider using in the future and see if it helps me out.

I looked on IMBD for his writer credits and found that the first show he worked on as a writer was Where the Heart is. He did a couple more episodes for other shows and then his created no angels for Channel 4. He has since gone on to create Being Human and now also writes for Doctor Who.

He also has acted in Bridget Jones's Diary and has a tendency to pop up as an extra in the shows he writes.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/features/meet-the-showrunners-from-steven-moffat-to-toby-whithouse-how-did-writers-end-up-seizing-the-reins-9386825.html

"I often talk to young writers and they're often desperate to get their own first show, and personally I think that's a terrible thing to happen to a young writer, because you have to learn the industry."

This is an interesting point and something i plan on doing. I would love to work in a writers room with other writers, using characters that may have existed for years and taking on their story with a fresh perspective and direction but still staying true to who they are. I think this advice is very useful and as much as i am enjoying have this freedom to create my own show, it will potentially be something i come back to in the future rather than a driving force in my career right now.

http://www.kasterborous.com/2015/05/toby-whithouse-game-writing-tips-magic-doctor/

"So I guess my advice would be: dance as if no one’s watching, write as if no one’s reading.”
This is something i found really insightful. Writing without a care is something i often struggle with. I feel like there is a lot of people relying and invested in this project particular that sometimes i feel a little like I'm never going to please everyone. So this made me think - Yes exactly - your not going to please everyone - so while spinning off some plot lines and how a future episode will flow i started writing like noone will ever read it and i although i still had those niggling thoughts in my mind, oh they aren't going to like tear part - it helped me evolve my characters. I knew this idea of having one of the characters come to terms with his sexuality might not be welcomed with open arms as it would if i was writing a scene where ollie does internet dating but having that freedom to explore possible areas like this are not only more relevant to the real world but are also make the storytelling richer. 

overall i think these research into Toby has helped and i may contact him as part of my on going research into writers to find out some more about how he works as a writer and how he got his first writing job etc

Major project: Raise the Stakes

After Simon read my script he mentioned that while reading it he kept asking why does the team needs a manager? What is at stake?
With this story being based on my own experiences i was probably thinking that this would be enough as in real life - we needed a manager or the team would fold and everyone would have to give up playing. However in the world of TV something bigger needs to happen. i decided to research into this a little to this idea and to see if they had an methods or strategies for doing so.

http://thescriptlab.com/screenwriting-101/screenwriting/script-tips/884-raise-the-stakes-crank-it-up
"You want to SQUEEZE your characters, constantly making it harder on them."

http://www.movieoutline.com/articles/how-to-raise-the-emotional-stakes-in-your-screenplay.html

"After years of working with many writers, I concluded that often when we begin to create screenplays, we come up against a basic instinct, which is to try not to generate conflict, but to resolve it. "

This is one of the problems. I think i am trying to resolve to much too quickly and not generating enough conflict. 

I found this strategy and decided to give it a go:

Step 1.  Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Step 2.  Without stopping, make a list of the worst things that can happen in your script and the effects these events would have on the various characters. Really let loose and leave the logic of your current story behind. For example, in the film, Casablanca, what if the Nazis were invading, and Ilsa had been two-timing Rick? What if he were captured and tortured?  While I don’t think Casablanca needed higher stakes, I intended this as example so you could apply the technique to your story.
Step 3.  Have your main character describe how these events changed the outcome of his or her life. Rick might write, “ I could have taken everything but knowing that she was sleeping with another man.”
Step 4.  Put the exercise away for a while and watch one or two movies in your chosen genre that were very successful and that you like.
Step 5.  Consider the relative stakes in these films and your script and make any adjustments.

Here are the ideas i wrote in that time period:

Step 2:

Step 3:

Step 4: I decided to watch Friday Night Lights and No Angels. Friday night lights is a tv show about an american football team and No angels is a drama comedy about nurses. I chose them because one is sports related and the other is situated around one commonality - working in a hospital similar to how mine is set around the football team.

Step 5: After watching the shows i realised how far i could push the script and decided to use the idea that a character could be beaten up - it raises the stakes as if i wanted to kill off a character id like to do it later in the series when people have grown attached to them - Shonda Rhymes style.

This was a really useful technique and helped me to move forward in a time efficient manner. I feel like i am starting to build up a skill set now for when i have a moment like this where i am stuck. This process is becoming less and less time constricting and making me realise that i have all the tools i need its just about thinking about it a different way - i think that this might also be something that could work as part of the script writing group. maybe we could all bring a scene we are finding particularly troublesome to a meeting and do a short task like this on that scene as everyone will bring a unique concept to that scene and see it a different way than you might in your own head - expanding the idea - something to suggest anyway.

Major project: Subplots

After i began writing my script i realised one fundamental flaw. All of my characters were in the one scene and i had nothing to cut to. 

When you watch Friends, for example,  there are times when all the characters are together but there are usually 2 (sometimes even 3) plotlessness throughout the episode. One is resolved at the end and the other moves the series arch forward. Therefore monica can be having a kitchen crisis and need's phoebe to help her out, while ross and rachel are having yet another lovers tiff, and chandler and joey are creating fire ball. the story's intertwine slightly and it gives the episode a greater depth. 
My problem was one that was just not going away and what was worse is that i had clear subplots for all my other episodes just not the pilot. 
I decided to go back to basics and research subplots for anything that might help me figure out my issue. 


http://www.movieoutline.com/articles/screenwriting-structure-series-part-14-subplots-and-the-midpoint.html

" In fact, it's okay to manipulate your spun off subplot into a planned subplot that helps serve the story better. "

"Just as your Protagonist is a character in conflict, so should your secondary characters be in conflict of some kind and hence, we follow this secondary character's struggles via the subplot and this subplot helps pull the main story into full focus by the end of the screenplay. "

I decided to split up the characters in my plot. I knew which 2 characters i needed in terms of dynamic for the A plot - Dean and Ollie which left me with Tom be a driving force in the A plot. My b plot could therefore focus on any of the other three main or secondary characters. However i knew which 2 characters i needed in terms of dynamic for the A plot - Dean and Ollie which left me with Tom and Nath.  I just couldn't think of where to go with them. 
My A plot is getting a manager. This idea of conflict made me think the subplot should be the search for players. I began thinking more about the dynamic between tom and nath. They both support Spurs but while nath is shy and awkward, tom is hot headed and brash. perhaps the conflict could be that tom slacks off while nath really puts in a shift to get some new players. however whenever i read those scenes i kept thinking why are we coming back here? what is so important about this scene? it felt like it was just something to cut to - and it was. 

http://www.crackingyarns.com.au/2011/01/26/the-secret-to-subplots-half-revealed/

"If a screenplay dies in Act 2 or Act 3, it’s just as likely the problem lies in the subplots as in the main narrative."

The above quote is exactly my point.

I deleved a little further into the research department hoping it would help. 

http://www.scriptmag.com/features/craft-features/ask-the-expert-making-sure-your-subplots-arent-sub-par

"The B Story is often the more emotional thing, and not the visual, tangible, action-y thing. It’s 
connected to your concept – but is usually caused because of or caused by your concept. It’s 
what your hook or major storyline leads your characters to (or to do)."

I have a long running sub plot throughout the show of the love story between Dean and Lucy but it 
isn't appropriate to introduce that story at this moment. Then it came to me.. tom is hot tempered. 
Nath is the reason the team have come back together - he has been attacked by a rival team. Maybe 
Tom can teach him a few self defence / fighting tips. 

This storyline could easily intersect the main storyline at the end of the episode and would also offer 
a more serious and softer side to the show. 

"Your subplots are basically a way for you to cut away from your main storylines and main 
characters infuse different life and personality into your story. These subplots do NOT
have to include your main characters, and probably shouldn’t. However, it usually does and SHOULD intersect and affect your major plotline at some point. "


I would be bringing different life to the story through this subplot. It would be a different tone and pace to the wedding vibe and also let us know about the characters a little more. Tom is aggressive but also is a teacher a 2 sided personality character and he's hoping to rub a little bit of teaching and aggression off onto weak and shy geek Nath. 

"The secret to successful subplots is to have them ultimately come back and have an impact on the main narrative."

This exact line became one of the biggest turning points for me. When i saw this, everything started to slot into place. I began to think more about how Tom's teaching nath could come back and impact the final scene. Initially i had Ollie score a goal - as he missed the penalty i thought it would be idea to have him score - sort of mirroring the start and end. However This idea of having the sub plot impact the main narrative made me think - maybe Nath should score - maybe an on running defender could go to take him out but he ducks and is in acres of space for dean to pace the ball into his path for him to tap home. Now with Nath being the goal keeper its slightly unrealistic however as its a 7 vs 7 match the pitch would be smaller and perhaps the others are so tired he just makes a break for it. 

This research i have undertaken has  clearly influenced my writing and the way that i think about plots as it has made me see the light and shade of the stories. Although i watch a lot of programs and see it happening on screen it hasn't translated into my writing yet so this is a new development for me. Im applying what I'm learning through research into my script. I think having this subplot in place will make the story richer.

"It’s a simple subplot that’s introduced without fanfare but it ultimately creates a complication that threatens the hero’s pursuit of his goal and triggers evolution of the character. That’s an effective subplot, wouldn’t you say? It works because it complicates and escalates the drama."

This subplot would defiantly help to increase the drama because Nath would be learning how to take care of himself, it evolves his character and the inciting incident earlier in the script has already threatened his pursuit of his goal. 

Major Project: Writing Montages

After my tutorial with simon. It became clear that i had a lot of work to do with the script. One of the scenes i had written was fairly montage like but i hadn't written it as such and therefore i thought i should go away and do some research on this to help with the writing.

I began by thinking of programs that had big montage scenes and of course the first that sprung to mind was Rocky. I didn't want to just watch the youtube clip however of rocky training. I wanted to find out how that scene was written but found it very difficult to come across the screen play. In fact i found it difficult to come across any scripts that had a montage.

I decided to turn my attention to more in depth research into how a montage should be formatted and began reading up through various sites. The one i found most usual was this:

http://www.scriptgodsmustdie.com/2010/01/format-3-montage-vs-series-of-shots/

The idea of the montage scene was mainly because i thought that was what this sort of thing was called. It wasn't until reading up i felt that, when i thought about it, it wasn't a great amount of time passing, I'm not trying to tell a story without words, its not really a montage at all but a SERIES OF SHOTS. It's a short passing of time and will still move the story forward.

From this i needed to see how this would be formatted and found a useful example on filmmaker IQ.
http://filmmakeriq.com/lessons/a-guide-advance-screenplay-formating/

The article styled it as a montage but ultimately it is a series of shots and taking what i learnt from the previous article it would be classed as such. 

I took this research and applied it to the script by writing my series of shots in that format, making sure it was concise and made sense for the plot. My scene is a night club scene where the characters are getting progressively drunk to the point where on of the characters is very drunk. I felt it necessary as it would show their friendship and a little more about their characters without having to have to much said. From just the way one character drinks, or strikes out with a girl adds to the audience's perception of them and i think its a justified use - something that i also learnt from my research.

http://www.steves-digicams.com/knowledge-center/how-tos/filmmaking-tips/screenwriting-how-to-write-montages.html#b

I found the research helpful as it enabled me to solve the problem i was facing in a visual way by watching youtube videos of montages and then took this and looked into the formatting. This has helped my skill set because i had to think outside the box in order to solve the problem. I couldnt find any scripts so i had to find a work around that still made sure i found something that could help.

Major Project: Helping find the characters voice

One thing that i have often struggled with is making sure my characters have a unique voice. The way they talk needs to come to life on the page. As i am writing a lot of male characters, i wanted them to speak differently so it is clear who is talking, whilst also noting that they live, and are from the same area. For example Dean is very confident and has a Cockney Twang to his voice while Nath is more methodical and uses words perhaps unfamiliar to the others as he is a keen academic.

I decided to do some research to help me with this and hopefully provide me with a solution or alternative way of looking at it. I knew one place that had often held answers for me in the past was BBC Writers Room so i went there first.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/writers-lab/genre-toolkits/writing-tv-sitcom

I found an interesting article through them (see above link). I wanted to look at methods other sitcom writers use to help with character development and also figuring out their voice. So far i have only created in depth character profiles and therefore i know a lot about my characters and their background and what they want.
After reading the article one piece of advice stayed with me.

"write monologues for each character in that character's tone of voice"

I liked this idea and felt it could help me to figure out the way the way they talk and help to clarify their individual voices a bit more. This also reminded me of things Simon taught in the first year about putting your character in situations they may not be familiar too and see how they react. However for this scenario i decided to use situations the characters would be involved in, off screen moments the characters might have. 

From this advice i wrote monologues for the 4 main characters. Whilst doing so i found it gave me an opportunity to focus solely on that character and therefore not worry about what others would say back to them. It proved to be a very helpful piece of research as i when i gave the monologues to group to read it was clear to them which character was talking without me having to tell them. It was clearly in their own voice.  

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/writers-lab/scriptwriting-essentials/4-character

I also found a piece of information on a different article on the same site, which i'd found helpful. 

"They need some kind of vulnerability – a chink in their emotional armour or Achilles heel or blind-spot that makes them universally human. "

When i was reading over the script, one thing that wasnt sitting right with me was that Dean was all over every girl he meets - there was barely anything likable about his character to the female audience. When we see him meet lucy - a future love interest - nothing about him changes. I felt this wasnt how that situation should play out. Dean should treat lucy differently to the other girls without loosing his voice. He can still check her out but also so a softer side to him that lets the audience know of that 'chink in his armour'. I decided to rewrite the meeting scene to reflect my new thoughts and feelings. 

Overall i think applying this research to my work has undoubtedly improved it. It has opened me up to a different way of thinking and helped me to apply my research rather than just read multiple relevant articles. My research here has affected my project by allowing me to explore characters in a new way, outside of script writing. We will also now use these monologues for the actors during auditions. It has also let me explore scenario's that i wasnt planning on having in the series so has given me further creative freedom that when i have looked back on the monologues i have found them to be so useful i may work them into future episodes in some way.