Story-telling Unit: Initial Script Feedback

I've had my script back and I'm really pleased with the feedback I've received. Script writing is something I really enjoy and something I would love to do as a career if I'm good enough. Simon was really pleased with the draft I gave him and had some really constructive things to say so I can improve on it.

Below is the feedback sheet I received:

 

I agree with everything he's said and I can already see ideas that I can use to change the ending. The thing I may struggle with the most is the voices of the characters. I can visualise them as people and know how they think but at the moment their voices do seem very similar. 

The idea of coming straight in on the meeting was one of the problems that came up when I first pitched the idea. No one understood it and thought it didn't work. But as this story is one which slowly unravels it would waste valuable time having a scene where a girls walks to her friends house. It just didn't have the same sort of vibe as smack bang in the middle of the argument so I'm really pleased Simon liked it. 

I'm going to get straight on and write another draft up I think. While I'm full of ideas.

Stay safe, 

Helen